Instead, I am going to give some advice to those who plan to go to the gym and may lack gym etiquette. My ideas are not about how to help my fat wife (she's so cute fat, though) buckle down and stay focused on her goal after the Holidays. And just as fatties don't want to start dieting and working out before the Holidays, I do not want to quit chewing just yet, either. Why not quit now? Because just as the New Year gives fatties a clean slate to potentially get less fat, it also offers me the opportunity for a clean slate, as well. In fact, I should probably resolve to quit chewing in the new year because I really do need to quit. I don't need to put myself on some ridiculous pedestal and pretend I am better than they are. Basically, I am not a dick and want to support people. It does get old, but that does not change the fact that some people really DO want to change and though only a small percentage will last through February, I try to be as supportive as I can for the few that actually might stick with it. Nevermind that they don't recall doing the exact same thing only a year ago and probably the year prior. I do, however, admit to rolling my eyes more than a few times over the Holidays while out-of-shape people - drunk on eggnog - proselytize about the plan they have to get into shape. In some way, it makes us feel superior to laymen and we must take the opportunity at this time of the year to remind all of the undisciplined and "average" people of the world that we are superior and, therefore, do not need such plebeian goals. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-80) Website: In our industry, we like to make fun of resolutions and those who make them. If any information or discussion on this platform triggers distressing emotions or thoughts, please leave immediately and consider seeking assistance. You enter and participate in this forum at your own risk, with full awareness that everything on this platform is purely comedic, satirical, or opinion-based, and should never be taken as factual information. You agree not to hold the forum, its administrators, moderators, or users responsible for any content that may be perceived as offensive or inappropriate. By accepting this disclaimer, you acknowledge and understand that the content found within this forum is strictly meant for parody, satire, and entertainment. If you are sensitive to such subjects or are easily offended, we kindly advise that you leave the forum.Īny similarities to real people, events, or situations are either coincidental or based on real-life inspirations but used within the context of fair use satire. The purpose of this content is not to incite harm but to engage in satire and explore the boundaries of humor. Please be aware that this forum may feature discussions and content related to taboo, controversial, or potentially offensive subjects. All content is intended for entertainment purposes only and should be regarded as fictional, exaggerated, or purely the result of personal opinions and creative expression. ![]() None of the statements, opinions, or depictions shared on this platform should be considered or treated as factual information under any circumstances. ![]() This forum is dedicated exclusively to parody, comedy, and satirical content.
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